The ambulatory husk of Alan Greenspan shambled down 6th Avenue, buffeted in every direction by looks of pity and revulsion from passers-by. The New York air smelled like soot, piss, and meat, everything but the sterile comfort of his office, his spreadsheets, and the mint-flavored denture paste they only seemed to sell in the Chesapeake Bay area. He missed Washington, where a tangible bubble of hard-won respect preceded him like the bulletproof glass of his very own Popemobile.

Alan Greenspan: Piece of smelly shit. Guilty of so many crimes against mankind it would be impossible to count them all within a lifetime. He single-handedly destroyed Middle Class America with his reverse Robin Hood tactics and funneled everything straight up the ladder to the elite and upper-class. He should be hung from the rafters, but stoned prior by those he affected most. Which is 95% of the world.